29
Oct

India’s disastrous performance

   Posted by: Shantanu Goel   in Uncategorized

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These two posts appeared on my company’s internal newsgroup soon after India’s disastrous performance against Australia:

—Post 1—

hurreeey australia ko bevkuf banaya

australia ke betsmen ne itnmi mahenat karke run banaye.

jabki zarurat hi nahi thi.

wah wah !!!

——–

—Post 2—

BCCI CRICKET TEAM recruitment

Calling Guys For Place in the INDIAN Cricket Team ( Oooopsss BCCI CRICKET TEAM)

Experience — 1+ yrs in playing Gully Cricket

No interviews … direct recruitment…

FCFS basis …. HURRRYYY RUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

desired skills:

batsmen should have expertise in managing run outs out of nowhere

fielders shud be sure to fumble when catches come along and gv as ugly a dive as possible

if applying for the post of skipper, shud have gud vocab to gv bold and outrageous comments to match other teams’ mind games

if applying for WK, shud be able to manage let everythin pass between the legs and score consistent 40’s in all matches

bowlers shud be capable of maintaining regularly irregular line n length

if applyin for the post of GOD, shud be sufferin from tennis elbow so as to b able to furnish proper excuses for non performing

if applyin for WALL, shud be able to struggle shamelessly on “non-foreign” pitches

if applying for VERY VERY SPECIAL post, shud be able to struggle against spin and play as far from the body as possible

if applying for OPENER, shud hv an inspiring “maa”

finally bowlers shud be able to score runs and batsmen shud get wickets regularly……

—-

© Shantanu Goel | India’s disastrous performance

Quote of the day: "You can't fight ideas with bullets." - Leo Gold
This entry was posted on Friday, October 29th, 2004 at 4:23 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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